06.04.08 10 years ago 10 Comments

Holy mackerelcowshit.  Place all Philadelphia emergency workers on call IMMEDIATELY.  From today's Philly Inquirer:

Quarterback Donovan McNabb will be at Citizens Bank Park tonight because he wants to meet Cincinnati Reds star Ken Griffey Jr.

Drop Griffey from your fantasy team immediately.  If you're an Eagles fan, trade in your #5 jersey.  Something bad's gonna happen.  A piece of stadium overhang will fall on them as soon as they shake hands. Or McNabb will break his ankle on home plate, causing him to reach out and pull Griffey's arm off.  The cacophonous snap of tendons will sound like Independence Day fireworks as far away as New York.  Leave the kids at home, Philly fans.  It's gonna look like a Tarantino flick down there.

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