‘Guten Morgen, Herr Jordan?’

06.10.10 8 years ago 9 Comments

When people say that “One of the worst things Hitler ever did was ruin that mustache for everyone”, you aren’t excluded from that grouping, Michael Jordan. Either MJ’s okay with appearing on national television in the facial hair stylings of maybe the worst human being in the history of mankind or he was daydreaming when his history teacher went over World War II because for some reason he’s sporting a Hitler mustache at the moment.

The mustache hits the public eye in a new, extremely boring line of Hanes underwear commercials with a random guy who’s basically just annoying Michael Jordan as he attempts to do a crossword puzzle. What a brilliant advertising campaign. The silver lining of this commercial is the realization that we won’t have to watch Charlie Sheen throw cell phones at Michael Jordan anymore, as he’s off doing bigger and better things. By that I mean trying to get into jail.

Jordan pal Charles Barkley had some pretty hilarious things to say about the offending facial accessory on Dan LeBatard’s radio show.

“I have got to admit when I saw that commercial I had to take a double take… That is one of the stupidest things that I have seen in a long time. First of all, I can’t believe that they let that commercial get on the air like that. I mean in making commercials, they have got little ladies there making sure the cheese is right. When I am shooting the Taco Bell commercial they have got this little woman making sure that every cinnamon twist and every piece of cheese is in order and now they let my man get on TV with that terrible mustache. I was totally in shock and just, I just can’t believe that. That is really not good at all.” Ball Don’t Lie, Sports Radio Interviews

We could be in one of those “Emperor Has New Clothes” scenarios where nobody in his posse has the balls to tell Michael Jordan that his mustache is extremely offensive, and because nobody is mentioning it, Jordan assumes that everything’s cool. Now MJ, if you’re reading this hear me out. If you hired me as a mustache advisor I’ll guarantee this’ll never happen again. Why not take a look at one of my suggestions? I call it “Variations on the Pringles Man”. Give me a call.

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