05.29.08 10 years ago 18 Comments

The NBA's competition committee announced during its meeting Tuesday that it is taking measures to crack down on the rampant flopping going on around the Spurs the league. Beginning next year, players caught executing clear cases of flopping (as determined by referees conducting point shaving) will be subject to fines and possibly suspension. Anticipating heavy penalties, Manu Ginobili has already canceled payment on his next hair transplant.

NBA executive vice president of basketball operations Stu Jackson confirmed the new policy Wednesday night saying: "What was clearly expressed to the committee is that we would begin imposing fines next season for the most egregious type of flops. When players are taking a dive, for lack of a better term."

While there are plenty of contrarian diptards who think flopping enhances lesser sports like soccer and billiards (you wouldn't believe how well it draws a scratch), we Americans don't truck faking injuries for personal gain. Unless it was that time Steve Jobs sideswiped me with his car. The whiplash…so great…only a seven-figure settlement can cure it.

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