02.08.07 11 years ago 3 Comments

The NFL FanHaus picked up on some decent Matt Leinart gossip: not only did the Cards' QB of the future make out with Alyssa Milano, but now he's been spotted at a Marc Anthony-J.Lo concert with future With Leather basement prisoner respected girlfriend Scarlett Johansson:

"Even though they arrived together, they dodged all the photo opportunities," an eyewitness tells Star… Scarlett and Matt looked very flirty and very happy together – although it did seem as if Matt was slightly more into Scarlett."

Now see, this is where gossip becomes a huge pain in the ass. Holy fuck, two attractive people were spotted TALKING! That means they definitely had sex! Now, because it ran as a gossip item, we're going to have to deal with future ledes like this: "Johansson, previously linked to Matt Leinart…" It's such bullshit. Like, if I had sex with every attractive woman I spoke to — wait. I guess that's a bad example.

What's the lesson here? There is no vaguely sports-related gossip item I won't run with if it gives me a chance to publish a Scarlett picture. Her breasts are made from ambrosia, freshly spun silk, and heavy cream. It's true. I read it somewhere.

Around The Web