10.26.09 8 years ago 6 Comments

Steelers defensive back William Gay. Observe.

Defenders covering Miles Austin. In two career starts, Austin has 16 catches for 421 yards and 4 touchdowns. Miles Austin just broke into your house and drank your milk straight from the carton, and he’s a big reason the Cowboys are back in the hunt in the NFC East.

Anyone looking for another Mark Sanchez implosion. With Matt Hasselbeck on a bye this week, I was forced to go to the cupboard in my 18-team fantasy league and start…JaMarcus Russell. His line? Try 6-for-11 passing for 61 yards, two picks and -6.95 fantasy points. Eat your heart out, Derek Anderson. Sanchez fared better. Somewhat: 9-of-15 for 143 and a TD pass. And he ran for another; what better way for Sanchez to celebrate Hispanic Heritage month than by running undetected over an arbitrary border? The Jets blew out the Raiders, 38-0. If Shonn Greene (144 yards, 2 TDs) is still available in your fantasy league, you have no one to blame but yourself.

The Bears. After fighting the good fight against the Falcons on Sunday, Chicago went into Cincinnati to take on the Bengals and they got absolutely destroyed. Former Bear Cedric Benson ran for 189 yards against his former team and Carson Palmer threw for 233 and 5 TDs in a 45-10 pimp-slapping. The Bengals didn’t seem to miss Antwan Odom at all; their standout defensive end was declared out for the season after tearing an Achilles tendon. The Bears, who already had lost star linebacker Brian Urlacher for the year, did not seem as fortunate.

Anyone stuck with a crappy game yesterday. Of the 11 games played yesterday before Sunday night, more than half, six, were blowouts, including Indianapolis playing their rendition of “Beat Me In St. Louie” against the Rams, Green Bay“>stomping another mudhole in the Browns, the Chargers“>sending the Chiefs onto yet another trail of tears, and the Patriots doing something not particularly clever to the Bucs in London. Yeah, pairing one of the league’s best teams against one of its worst was a great showcase of American football. Eh, it’s only London.

Jim Zorn. “Dead coach walking” turns over his laminated Waffle House menu to Sherman Lewis, who has spent all of two weeks learning the Redskins offense. Even though Lewis’ time with his new club has been limited, he probably already knows the offense better than Jason Campbell.

Anyone planning to watch ESPN next week. The Yankees are in the World Series and Brett Favre returns to Lambeau Field next week. Consider SportsCenter unwatchable for the next seven days. Eh, you needed to go outside anyway.

Who did we miss? Pick your losers in the comments.

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