03.19.08 10 years ago 28 Comments

I'm cool with pro athletes making more over the course of a game than I will all year.  I expect them to wear more expensive clothes than I do and have sex with famous women and get out of brushes with the law simply because of who they are.  What I'm NOT cool with is America's Puritanical anti-murder laws when I read stories like this:

Fresh from a birthday bash in Miami, [Eva Longoria] arrived at the San Antonio airport Sunday – completely unaware of the intricate celebration hubby Tony Parker had planned in their hometown. The party, elaborate even by Hollywood standards, involved surprise visits from friends and family, an Amazing Race-style scavenger hunt, a lavish dinner at a castle and a real-life version of the Clue board game… 

The unsuspecting star – who had already enjoyed three previous birthday bashes – was greeted at the airport by the familiar Clue characters (played by hired actors who were flown in from Los Angeles). But the San Antonio Spurs star was noticeably absent.  Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, all of them were there," says the guest. "But there's no Tony. Although there was a Spurs coyote – the Spurs mascot – in the crowd." […]

The birthday girl had to watch a video and answer questions from the still-MIA Parker. Says the guest: "It was stuff like, what was the first place we had our date? IHOP. What was the movie we saw together? National Treasure. What's my favorite color? Red. She got them all right." 

That set the stage for the biggest surprise of the night. "In walks the Spurs coyote again," says the partygoer. "But it's Tony in the coyote costume! He's been in the coyote costume the whole day …. He was hot, he was sweating, he was in love with his wife." 

If you cheer for the Spurs I hate you. 

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