05.05.08 10 years ago 17 Comments

A glorious development in the neverending, ever jarring blood feud between the Yankees and the Red Sox: They're finally resorting to to vehicular homicide to settle their differences rather than passive aggressive nonsense like burying jerseys under new stadiums. Early Friday morning, a female Yankees fan got into it with a Red Sox fan, presumably debating whose fanbase is more insufferable, at a liquor store in New Hampshire. She put a capstone on her argument by running him down with her car at full speed. Debate teams, take note.

"She never braked, and she accelerated at a high speed for about 200 feet. She went directly at this group of people," prosecutor Susan Morrell said of Ivonne Hernandez, who is charged with reckless second-degree murder in the death early Friday of Matthew Beaudoin, 29.

Authorities won't describe the argument beforehand in Slade's Food & Spirits, but witnesses said it heated up when Hernandez identified herself as a New York Yankees fan. Nashua, 45 miles northwest of Boston, is Red Sox country.

Look at the Globe with its obvious bias in marking the area as Red Sox country. That's only if you go by post-1968 borders! Because, you see, this rivalry is becoming worse than than Israel and Palestine. Soon, each fanbase will set up non-profits like Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting to decry seemingly innocuous remarks like that. Then Yankees fans will drive Red Sox fans into the sea. 

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