Even You Might Be Qualified For Rutgers Football’s Open Assistant Coach Position

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Rutgers University may not be the worst football team in the FBS, but it very well could be the most publicly ridiculed. In certain ways, the Scarlet Knights resemble the Cleveland Browns of the college ranks: they can find unique ways to lose on and off the football field, and do so in a way that prompts pity from other fanbases — well, some pity and a lot of mockery.

Signing up to work for Rutgers comes with all of that, but hey, at least it’s a job in the highest division of college football. Gotta start somewhere, right? And when Rutgers is hiring, the operative word may be “start.” That’s because at the college’s job portal, an entry for an open assistant coach position seems to not have about the same amount of requirements as an intern at a marketing company:

Okay, so know the rules of football and the NCAA (all right, that second part does sound challenging), know Microsoft Excel, and bing bang boom, you’ve got the job, right? Great. Now, let’s just see how much they pay…

Zero dollars? Okay, that’s maybe not enough. Also, 37.5 hours per week might be the biggest joke on this whole posting.

As an aside to the lovely band of “well actually” folks on the internet — yes, we know that these are all placeholders and the real nuts and bolts are relayed in person so as to keep things relatively under wraps. That doesn’t stop them from putting one entry into the “preferred qualifications” field.