With the NBA playoffs over, basketball fans turned their eyes to last night's draft lottery, which is unnecessarily televised every year. As you've certainly heard by now, the Portland Trail Blazers get their choice of Greg Oden or Kevin Durant, while the embattled Sonics of the Emerald City got the second pick — forcing experts to wonder whether Oden/Durant can save hoops in Seattle, whether Portland will take Oden or Durant (Definitely Oden! Definitely Durant!), and whether or not this milk is still good. Like, the carton says it doesn't expire until tomorrow, but it already smells funny, you know?
Oh yeah, and if you watched the lottery you saw the clown in the #20 Celtics jersey with "Oden" on the back. The Celtics will pick fifth, which means that there is a God, and he didn't like Bill Simmons's idea of karma, either.
Full lottery results after the jump.
1. Portland Trail Blazers
2. Seattle Sonics
3. Atlanta Hawks (sorry, Phoenix)
4. Memphis Grizzlies
5. Boston Celtics (HAW-ha!)
6. Milwaukee Bucks
7. Minnesota Timberwolves
8. Charlotte Bobcats
9. Chicago Bulls (from Knicks — thanks, Isiah!)
10. Sacaramento Kings
11. Atlanta Hawks (from Indiana)
12. Philadelphia 76ers
13. New Orleans Hornets
14. L.A. Clippers
Oh yeah, you should peep Peter Schrager's experience at the draft. He's a good man. And thorough.