05.29.07 11 years ago 21 Comments

A man staying in the same hotel as the San Antonio Spurs apparently jumped to his death (third item):

Some Spurs officials had an unsettling afternoon when they returned to their team hotel to discover a man had apparently committed suicide by jumping from one of the building's upper floors.  Many of the players didn't know about the incident until they boarded the team bus later in the day to go to the arena.

Yeah.  "Many" of the players didn't know.  Like all the players besides Bruce Bowen and whoever Bowen bragged to about it.  Probably Robert Horry.  Listen, I'm not saying Bruce Bowen definitely committed a murder; I just think the police should look into it a little bit.  Maybe take him in for questioning.  And by questioning I mean "brutal beating with night sticks until he's a vegetable."

Honestly, though, I'm sure it was a suicide.  If I were in Utah AND staying in the same building as the Spurs, I'd kill myself too.  I can't say for sure that death is less boring than the Spurs in Utah, but I'd be willing to take that chance. (Although why the Spurs were vacationing together in Utah remains a mystery, because we all know the NBA season is over.)

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