Simone Giertz Built A Butt-Wiping Robot In A Bid To Redeem 2016

Simone Giertz is the expert on, in her words, sh*tty robots. She built a popcorn machine helmet, she built a robot who makes the worst peanut butter sandwich ever, and you might think, “I wouldn’t wipe my ass with these robots!” In which case, good news, because she built a robot that does exactly that!

Needless to say, there are a few bugs to work out:

The robot is basically a roll of TP mounted on a power drill. Once you do your business, the drill swings down, jams the roll in your crack, and you get your brown eye turned pink at roughly 1000 RPM. Well, if it doesn’t miss and fill the entire bowl with toilet paper while leaving you unsanitary, which happens a lot in the video. Hey, she told you what her expertise was in.

Some may feel that this is too extreme. To which we say, if you’re going to build, forget actually use, a robot that wipes your butt, you need to commit. None of this “gentleness.” You’re not a cartoon bear. Take your butthole sanding with pride as you advance the human race forward! Look forward and unclench, in the name of science and the advancement of the human race! Ever forward! Ever onward!

(via YouTube

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