There are plenty of ways to waste hundreds of dollars of your hard-earned money, but there’s only one way to blow your cash and freak out your friends with a personalized video birthday greeting from one of America’s foremost disgraced politicians: connect with Rudy Giuliani on Cameo! Sarah Silverman was excited to talk about Rudy’s “new gig” on Wednesday night, while guest-hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live!
After reminding the audience how “like six months ago Rudy was the personal lawyer for the leader of the free world,” Silverman shared Rudy’s Cameo promo which, like everything Rudy does, is cringe-inducing. But Silverman had just one question: “Can you really put a price on a future convicted felon accidentally farting on camera for your niece’s quinceañera?” Fortunately, she also had the answer:
“You can. It’s $275. That’s right, for the price of parking at Disneyland, you can get a message from the vampire who held a press conference next to a dildo store. The guy was once America’s mayor. Now he’s paying his bills the same way as High Pitch Erik.”
The saddest part, according to Silverman, is that Giuliani’s Cameo profile—which lists his “job” as Former Mayor of New York City—says he responds to requests within 10 hours. “His own prostate doesn’t respond that fast,” she noted.
If you’re wondering just how many terrifying wake-up calls Rudy would have to film in order to get his head above water, financially speaking, Silverman did the math: “Rudy’s being sued by Dominion for $1.3 billion. So all he has to do is make 3,250,000 Cameos and he’ll be halfway there.”
Giuliani must have been paying attention because in the time since Silverman publicly mocked him for the enjoyment of millions of viewers, he has raised his Cameo price to $375—and you’ll now be waiting up to 17 hours to hear back from him.
You can watch the full segment above.