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Sean Penn Thinks Electing Donald Trump Is Basically ‘Masturbating Our Way Into Hell’

Between interviewing a notorious drug lord for Rolling Stone and inspiring what sounds like an amazing new comedy starring Walton Goggins, actor and political activist Sean Penn stopped by The Late Show to beat around the proverbial bush with Stephen Colbert. That, and as the two men discussed Monday night’s presidential debate, literally beat said bush until all its leaves had fallen into a fiery haze of sinful glory. Or at least that’s what Penn seems to think will happen if the country elects Donald Trump as its next president.

Penn was on hand to promote unknown author Pappy Pariah’s first book, Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff, and given its political subject, the actor couldn’t resist Colbert’s bait:

“It’s a social debate… Basically there are two options. Either you can decide to divorce yourself from loving your children and piss on a tree and show that you have the power to piss on a tree. Or you can go out and vote in a very big way for someone like Hillary Clinton, who then you can challenge and support, which is the only way than any kind of president can have any success. And you stick it out for four years..”

“Or,” Penn added, “we can just masturbate our way into hell with a guy who looks like the only blond magician.”

There are many different things Penn is trying to say here, and frankly, trying to understand it all might not be possible. However, we can put everything to be gleaned from Penn’s political analysis into the bullet list below without losing what’s important:

  • Sean Penn thinks a vote for Trump requires divorcing from one’s children, pissing on trees, and rigorous masturbation.
  • Sean Penn believes Hillary Clinton is a better candidate whom voters still must “challenge.”
  • Magicians, according to Sean Penn, aren’t blond.

Aside from Penn and Colbert’s conversation about what a Trump vote really means, the Late Show host also convinced his guest to join Twitter. Unsurprisingly Penn’s first and only tweet is a push for Pariah’s book:

Almost 24 hours later, the tweet managed to score only 582 retweets and 1,300 likes, so there’s a good chance Penn won’t be tweeting all that much.

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