This time last week Donald Trump was maybe going to get indicted on criminal charges. How time flies. Now he’s actually indicted, making him the first former U.S. president to whom that has ever happened. And there was no way the latest p wouldn’t grant that the Cold Open.
James Austin Johnson busted out his famed 45 impersonation, this time to beg his sometimes cash-strapped supporters to give him even money than they have already so he can pay for his legal defense. Failing that, he could use the scratch to buy “commissary food” in the slammer.
“Well, folks, it happened, I got indicted, or as I spell it, indicated,” Johnson’s Trump declared. “Frankly, it’s time that I come clean and admit that I broke the law and go quietly to prison. April fools!”
He added, “Make no mistake, what the radical left is doing is worse than any crime I have ever committed, and I’ve committed a lot — close to 34.”
But Trump didn’t simply beg for money. Instead he announced he was following up on his not-quite-hit single with the J6 Prison Choir by releasing more terrible music. It’s an album of covers entitled Now That’s What I Call My Legal Defense Fund, aka Trump Popz.
“What a deal — just 30 classic covers, all horrible,” he said.
And so Johnson’s Trump sang brutal versions of “Hard to Handle,” a duet with Don King (Kenan Thompson) of “Islands in the Stream,” a duet with Afroman (Devon Walker) of “Because I Got High,” and a duet of “Boy’s a Liar” with Jr. (Mikey Day).
At one point he mentioned how news of the indictment has affected his home life.
“Me and the first lady Melania are in high spirits,” said Johnson’s Trump. “Since the news of my possible imprisonment I’ve never seen Melania happier. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world, second only perhaps to many younger, hotter women. Also, just to set the record straight, I didn’t even sleep with Stormy Daniels, but in many ways I did. And isn’t it ironic that the first time I actually pay someone, they try to send me to jail. That’s why you don’t pay people, folks. You never pay people.”
You can watch the sketch in the video above.
