The Bachelor (ABC) — There are only two women remaining in Jake’s quest for fake TV love, but heaven forbid this show end in any kind of timely fashion, so all of the rejected girls come back for a great big “The Women Tell All” episode. I can’t believe I don’t watch this show.
24 (Fox) — Katee Sackhoff has landed the lead in an ABC crime drama set to air next season. I can only hope that means her “24” character gets killed off. Preferably sooner rather than later.
Damages (FX) — Some people out there really like this show. Good for you guys!
Men of a Certain Age (TBS) — Season finale. Ray Romano’s character realizes his gambling problem is negatively affecting his relationships. Wait, his character has a gambling problem? Wow. Before now, I never considered the possibility that this show was cool.
One Tree Hill (CW) — Holy Jesus, this show is still on? Wasn’t Jessica Biel a teenager on this show? Oh, that was “7th Heaven.” Whatever, same thing.
Winter Olympics (NBC) — Figure skating, freestyle skiing, and ski jumping. Meanwhile, CNBC has women’s hockey and men’s curling (USA versus China), while MSNBC has… oh. Olbermann and Maddow. *fart noise*