It Is Apparently God’s Fault That Lauren Boebert Is In Congress Now

Just like the rest of us in this increasingly forsaken land, Lauren Boebert is apparently trying to find whoever’s responsible for putting her in Congress. And it seems after a lot of thinking she’s settled on it being God’s fault.

The U.S. representative from Colorado may not be long for her district’s seat, if recent public opinion is any indication, but according to perhaps the most notable politician who’s substituting gun affection for a personality, her qualifications for office begin and end with the word of the lord.

In a speech that Boebert gave on Sunday, she said it was not her GED that got her elected to office and making her fit to serve but the calling of a god that clearly doesn’t understand how the American federal government works at all. In the speech, Boebert asserted that God “called” to her to serve him in office and, lord almighty, she said yes.

“I had to say ‘Yes, God. I’ll do it.’ I’m not concerned about my education and the fact that I have a GED,” she said. “It didn’t matter that I wasn’t qualified in the world’s eyes, because God qualifies those who he calls.”

Honestly, when you put it like that it sounds like she didn’t have much of a choice.But it’s about as strong an argument against governing by theocracy anyone has ever conceived. Sure, there were once feudal kings plunging nations into chaos and rewriting bibles to suit their needs. But then there’s even thinking that a higher power’s invisible hand is guiding Boebert to clutch her guns and throw her masks and praise the Taliban in her never-ending quest to win the culture war. Good thing the lord’s vote only counts once, I suppose.