If you’ve ever wondered whether people who call their sexual partners “daddy” whilst in the throes of passion are actually fantasizing about doing the dirty with their biological or adoptive paternal figure (trying to keep this as technical as possible, folks), then here’s the news you’ve been waiting for: Women (and probably men, for that matter) aren’t out here dreaming of doing their parents (no matter what Freud says). In fact, when people call each other ‘daddy’ during sex, it generally has nothing to do with familial relations at all.
This startling (and somewhat soothing) revelation comes to us via Broadly, which has done the hard work and asked a sex therapist why it is exactly that people can’t just stick with the normal “honey, baby, sugar” while engaging in coitus and gotta get into pet names that suggest the possibility of incest.
“I’ve heard from a fair amount of men who were turned off by it, and were worried that it was an indicator of ‘daddy issues,'” says sex therapist Vanessa Marin. “Yes, ‘daddy’ can mean ‘father,’ but we also use the word to indicate when someone is the boss, in charge, a protector, or doing a good job. That’s usually the meaning women are going for in the bedroom. It’s a bit of a 70s porn cliche. I’ve never run across a woman who called her partner ‘daddy’ because she genuinely liked fantasizing that he was her father.”