DAVID ELLIOT & PAUL LOVETT

The Original ‘GI Joe: The Rise Of Cobra’ Writers Are Suing Paramount For $23 Million

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I won’t pretend like GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra was the best movie that we’ve ever seen.

GFM FILMS

Mark Wahlberg and Liam Neeson May Bring ‘Neuromancer’ Back From The Dead

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Vincenzo Natali's adaptation of 'Neuromancer' may be back from development hell, assuming Mark Wahlberg and Liam Neeson take their offered roles.

LORENZO DI BONAVENTURA

Michael Bay doing Transformers 4 after his bodybuilding movie starring Marky Mark and The Rock. Wait, what?

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Paramount has announced that they'll be making a fourth Transformers movie, with a tentative release date of 2014.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Schwarzenegger’s movie hiatus didn’t last long

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Once he was done governating, Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting schedule filled up fast.

5NAL DESTINATION

Adam Sandler’s new trailer and headlines

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Here's the trailer for Jack and Jill, starring Adam Sandler.

Crap

Roland Emmerich is directing Asteroids, obviously

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When I heard <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/go-kill-yourself-di-bonaventura" target="_blank">Lorenzo Di Bonaventura was planning</a> an adaptation of the Atari game Asteroids, I was super excited because 4-bit images of rocks are my favorite.

LORENZO DI BONAVENTURA

THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF DOC HOLLIDAY

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To be honest, I don't really know what the f-ck "I'm your huckleberry" is supposed to mean.

KIDS MOVIES

ASSORTED CRAP FOR KIDS

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The Harry Potter ripoff parade has been in full swing for a few years now, long enough for the derivative books to get made into derivative movies.

CHRIS PINE

CHRIS PINE IS JACK RYAN, PEOPLE CARE

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Chris Pine was charismatic and likable in Star Trek, and thanks to some mild acne scars, just not-pretty enough for me to not hate him.

LORENZO DI BONAVENTURA

DI BONAVENTURA’S TATUM GETS ROURKED ON

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(Mickey Rourke to play that vicious killer who you can't help but want to hug the sh't out of) The backstory: In 2006, Phil Carlo wrote a book about mafia hitman Richard "The Ice Man" Kuklinski, which was then optioned by producer Lorenzo "<a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/go-kill-yourself-di-bonaventura" target="_blank">Asteroids</a>" Di Bonaventura.

CHANNING TATUM

HAHA, YOU SUCK, BONAVENTURA

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<a href="http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/channingtatum-kuklinski.jpg"></a>(Frankly, I'm more scared by the picture on the left.

A-holes

GO KILL YOURSELF, DI BONAVENTURA

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Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, the Hollywood a-super producer behind-a dis-a year's Transformers 2, Imagine That, and G.

BIDDING WARS

ASTEROIDS. ASTEROIDS IS AN EFFING MOVIE NOW.

By | 35 Comments

The other day in a radio interview, the host was asking me about Hollywood's hard-on for remakes and movies about toys.

BRAD GREY

MICHAEL BAY DEMANDS BIGGER MARKETING

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As of last week, Transformers Revenge of the Fallen was already accounting for <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/06/michael-bay-lets-his-robot-nuts-swing" target="_blank">45% of all ticket sales</a> on Fandango, even though it doesn't open until this weekend.

BRIAN GOLDNER

SOMMERS FIRED FROM GI JOE QUESTION MARK?

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(The <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/05/gi-joe-has-the-worst-poster-ever" target="_blank">photoshopped sunglasses</a> heard round the world) There's a rumor floating around the internet that Stephen Sommers was fired mid-way through shooting G.

john singleton

VIN DIESEL TO PLAY OUROBOROS

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Director John Singleton, producer Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, and Vin Diesel have signed on for Wheelman, a live-action film adaptation of a videogame that came out last month with Diesel as its main character and the game's producer.

IMAGINE THAT

EDDIE MURPHY & NICKELODEON & PESTILENCE

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Up until recently, Eddie Murphy and Nickelodeon films had collaborated only in my worst nightmare.

Crap

SPEAKING OF STUPID IDEAS…

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In an exhaustive <a href="http://www.iesb.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4061&Itemid=99">interview with IESB</a>, GI Joe producer Lorenzo Di Bonaventura manages to mention Transformers thirteen times without ever addressing the real question, which is why anyone with half a brain would let the guy who did Van Helsing direct another movie.


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