The internet has known for years about Daniel Bryan’s affinity for bears. But it seemed like nothing more than a lark until a few weeks ago, when the four-time WWE World Heavyweight Champion casually mentioned on an episode of Talking Smack that he actually had plans to compete at WrestleMania 32 earlier this year and began asking — nay, demanding — that WWE release the documentary filmed around his planned comeback. The twist? The match in question was Daniel Bryan vs. a bear. (Okay, maybe this wasn’t as serious as we first suspected.)
Now, WWE has acquiesced to the demands of the powerful #ReleaseTheBear hashtag and posted the never-before-seen Daniel Bryan vs. The Bear documentary online, in three parts. Take 20 minutes out of your day to watch this thing in its entirety.
.@WWE officially releases Daniel Bryan's "Documentary."
Watch Part 1 of #DanielBryanVsTheBear. @WWEDanielBryan pic.twitter.com/BSmrS1mGbQ
— WWE (@WWE) September 30, 2016
"Do you know how much heart it takes to defeat a BEAR??!!" – @WWEDanielBryan
Watch Part 2 of #DanielBryanVsTheBear. pic.twitter.com/afd3zrqSQf
— WWE (@WWE) September 30, 2016
“This is going to be ME and the BEAR … TO THE DEATH!” – @WWEDanielBryan
Watch the conclusion of #DanielBryanVsTheBear. pic.twitter.com/2UaXyyVTfn
— WWE (@WWE) September 30, 2016
Now, there are a number of potential reasons why Daniel Bryan vs. The Bear may have been shelved: It was clearly conceived and filmed before DBry’s real-life retirement in February, so it probably wouldn’t have been wise to tease a WrestleMania 32 match around then. Plus, Bryan’s main co-star is Hornswoggle, who was released from the company earlier this year (along with Zeb Colter, who is also featured in the film). Also, it kinda-sorta parodies The Revenant, which is so nine months ago. Still, we’re happy it exists now, if for no other reason than for providing our new laptop background image: