Awaken the Precogs! Minority Report is real!

Senior Editor
08.09.10 15 Comments

According to a new report, Minority Report is no longer just Steven Spielberg’s best movie (okay, maybe Saving Private Ryan),  it’s a REALITY!  OH NO, BIG BROTHER! (*puts on tinfoil hat, covers body in cat poop*)

University of Pennsylvania professor Richard Berk believes his computers can succeed where members of the Pennsylvania Board of Probation and Parole have sometimes failed. “This system can forecast which inmates will kill again,” Berk said. “With the help of years of computer data, I can separate the really bad guys being released from the people who probably won’t re-offend.”

“A computer program? (*sigh*) Back to the drawing board,” said an unemployed, hairless albino suspended in goo.

It’s already being used by probation departments in Philadelphia and Baltimore to enable authorities to more closely supervise potential killers. Pennsylvania’s embattled parole board plans to be the first to use it to help it decide whether an inmate should be released.

If Berk’s ground-breaking computer models work, it could be key for a state parole board that has come under increasing scrutiny for releasing violent criminals well before they reach their maximum sentence, only to see them go on to commit more violent crimes.

Killers who kill again after they are released highlight the need for the state to find a more accurate way to predict which inmates present the highest risk when paroled.

So the parole board has given Berk a $228,000 grant to build his system, pilot it next year and have it in place by 2011. [MorningCall via Cinematical]

$228,000 of tax payer money to determine “which killers should be released?”  Yes, I’m sure no one will be pissed about that.  That definitely seems like the most obvious solution.  Money well spent, Pennsylvania, money well spent.  Let me know how that works out for you.

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