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I saw an early version of Black Dynamite, and though the last half sorta sucked, I’d still recommend it because the first half is the best spoof since Naked Gun or Airplane!. And because they sent me this t-shirt and novelty pen shaped like a syringe. My love of free t-shirts aside, they’ve had such an awesome marketing campaign that it’ll almost be a shame when the movie comes out next month, especially for all my cats, who lose their appetite when I walk around shirtless. Anyway, here’s some new clips from the “Fight Smack in the Orphanage” campaign, plus the new trailer below (which I wouldn’t recommend watching unless you want some of the best lines ruined). If Michael Jai White doesn’t become the next big star from this, I’m going to Karate chop three gingers a day, chosen at random, until Hollywood complies with my demands. *menacingly ties drawstring on sweatpants*
Viral Clip 2 – Drugs
Viral Clip 3 — Chocolate Giddy Up – NSFW for titties
Black Dynamite trailer
![[avatar]](https://profilecdn-woven.netdna-ssl.com/photo/257/profile)
Did you find out the hard way that injecting pen ink isn’t as fun as heroin?
Awww… my syringe was empty.
*collapses*
Oh man, for some reason when I was in elementary school we thought it was cool to snort stuff (I have no idea why, fu tv). Anyways, we ended up snorting pixie sticks and let me tell you, that is NOT fun.
The “fight smack” is the finishing move I use on your mother, that whore.
AYFKM!! All this time I didn’t know!
[stabs pen into arm, dies 5 minutes later from arterial bleed]
Just.like.Morrison…
Michael Jackson: “Jesse, I want to be a strong black figure that kids can look up to.”
Jesse Jackson: ” But Michael, Jai White!”
I’m not sure Hollywood would care if how many gingers you karate chop. All that means for them is they have to go back to Asians for the supporting role of the fey nerdy kids in all their child adventure comedies.
Ironic, because I actually had to do heroine just to get through “The Orphanage” in theaters.
You have to have some smack in the orphanage to keep the kids in line as they don’t have any parents to spank them.
As an orphan, I think that this “smack problem” is being blown out of proportion.
Of course, my parents didn’t die until I was an adult.
Fuck it. Little Orphan Annie was high as fuck and that bitch invented the decoder ring.
I can’t tell whether I’m racist for always reading “orphan” as “oprah” or if it’s just my vision that is racist.
Michael Jai White said he was a big sports star, know what sport?
Pfft! Jai Lie!
If there’s one thing an orphan learns it’s that a pimp’s love is very different from that of a square.
But without a mother how are they supposed to learn that a stripper loves cocaine ? *sniff*
The sad thing about little girls in orphanages, with no step father induced daddy issues how will they ever develope the esteem issues need to become strippers?
Adopt a girl child! Think of the FUTURE!
[makes it rain]
Because Dogs Don’t Have Thumbs
Because Beer Doesn’t Have a Vag
Because Hope Doesn’t Really Have a Chest (yet)
Because I Fucking Said So Goddammit!!
Crappy, girls in orphanages will do anything for what tehy perceive as love and acceptance.
[whispers] anything…
tehy is how a smack addict spells they.
Because The Shorter Wave Light Engery Penetrates the Atmosphere in a Relatively Coherent State Instead of Being Scattered and Effectively Translated into Heat Energy
Anything?
[whispers] *spooge* he tehhe
I figured tehy was some sort of pre teh ghey condition that spread like lice in those shithole orphanages.