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A few weeks back I reported on rumors that the studio was looking at Russell Brand for the part of Johnny Depp’s sidekick in Pirates of the Carribbean 4. Now those rumors are being confirmed… by The Sun.
The deal to play Jonathan, younger brother of Johnny Depp’s character, could be worth £5million. A source said: “There couldn’t be a role more perfectly suited. There’s a lot of Jack Sparrow in his mannerisms and behaviour. Depp’s accent isn’t a million miles away from Russell’s either.”
Reading news in the British press is about the same as hearing it from your aunt’s neighbor’s cousin’s plumber’s Filipino ladyboy-slave. This one might be true, but keep in mind these are the same people who reported Cher would play Catwoman in the next Batman movie. Also note: two separate sources chose to illustrate this story with a photoshopped picture. The Daily Mail even went so far as to put a copyright symbol at the bottom of theirs. I feel this bears repeating: A mainstream media outlet pasted Russell Brand’s face on Johnny Depp’s body, and then claimed a copyright on it. This is a joke, right? Some dry British thing that we missed? Oy claims a copyroight, Oy did. Me maites n oy’s gonna hav a propa laff about dis one, else Oy ain’t dog’s your uncle lorrie bobby lift, eh guv?
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Im going to sue, as I once had a job as an english wench using a fake accent, whilst waiting tables. That character is in all the pirate movies!!
Jason Statham will play a treasure chest.
“else Oy ain’t dog’s your uncle lorrie bobby lift, eh guv?”
I’m sitting beside a british guy that doesn’t ‘get’ this at all. What an idiot.
My favorite thing to do is help someone with a problem and when I’ve fixed it say “Bob’s your uncle, Fanny’s your Aunt”. When they look at me like I had just farted, I tell them “It’s British, you wouldn’t understand”. It’s at that point that they tell me to fuck off because they didn’t ask for my help in the first place.
I’m sitting next to a Canadian jerk who is trying to claim “Bob’s your uncle” is Canadian. Next he’ll be claiming the Queen…wait
I’d like to think that the Pirates ride at Disney World would be fun when you’re high, but your buzz would be gone by the time you actually get there from the parking lot.
Russell Stover is set to be Baltimore’s place-kicker…dor sho gha!
I couldn’t trust anyone who would take the language we invented and bastardize it the way they do. S’s in place of Z’s? Extraneous U’s? Who do they think they are?
Oh, we’re only talking about the Sun?
*Looks over both shoulders. Backs away slowly.*
Mmmmm….Stouffer’s.
The Sun is also reporting that Emma Eatson will play Jack Sparrow’s pirate daughter, Salty Swallows.
Emma Eatson, of course, is Emma Watson’s porn name.
*cuts typing finger off*
I need a new Pirates movie like I need a dick in my ass.
and Emma Watson’s snatch will be playing the part of Fuzzy Porthole.
I’ve killed homeless men with better looking hair than that guy.
Russell Brand is like that kid in elementary school with the yellow crusties all over his nose – he’s just gross. I would hose him off in the yard before I let him anywhere near me.
First Zac Efron…now Russell Brand. Are they just trying to find the gayest guys in Hollywood to be in this?