Senior Editor
04.19.09 67 Comments

Howdy, FilmDrunkards.  This week, in conjunction with Bananaz, a documentary about virtual cartoon band Gorillaz, the trailer for which you see above, I’ve got a prize pack to giveaway.  Bananaz will premiere tomorrow – Monday April 20th – for free online at Babelgum, prior to theatrical and DVD release.

From 2000 to 2006 director Ceri Levy filmed alongside the creators behind the scenes, from first drawings, animations, music and the musicians, through to the faces behind the voices of Murdoc, 2D, Noodle and Russel Hobbs. Made with the spirit of collaboration and madness that is Gorillaz, Bananaz also has appearances from many of those who occasionally pass through this virtual band; Dennis Hopper, De la Soul, Ibrahim Ferrer, Dangermouse, Dan the Automator, D12, Bootie Brown and Neneh Cherry.

Last week’s comments of the week winner (which I will name below) will receive a Gorillaz price package which includes: “Demon Days” CD, “Gorillaz” CD, G Sides CD (b-sides from “Gorillaz”), D Sides (b-sides from “Demon Days”), Gorillaz Demon Days Live DVD, and Phase One: Celebrity Take Down DVD (music videos, shorts, special features).  Let’s get this party started with the runners up, shall we?

Disclaimer: I realize this post is kind of long.  Sorry, you bastards were on fire this week.  You have my permission to skip to the end to see the winner if you like.

Let’s begin with Canada jokes from the Billy Bob Thornton Cancels Canadian Tour thread:

Burnsy says: The only things Canadians throw at each other are compliments.

Michelle07 says: When you throw something at a Canadian, they apologize.

Next, in the Porn Legend Marilyn Chambers Dead at 56 thread, John Wayne in a Devo Hat provides the proper historical imagery:

John Wayne in a Devo Hat says: Now she’s up in heaven getting DP’d by Moses & Abe Lincoln.

Speaking of double teams, Donkey Hodey and Stone Soup ran a train on the Stop Motion with Wolf and Pig thread:

Donkey Hodey says: If they had included a Japanese schoolgirl in it instead of a pig, it would have been “No! Stop! Please!” motion.

Stone Soup says: I get the same show by quickly flipping the pages of my first wedding album.

The peanut gallery effect was likewise in full bloom in the Lindsay Lohan EHarmony Ad thread:

DeFrank says: Spotty at best. [Because she’s freckly, you see. -Ed.]

Burnsy says: Lindsay’s ideal mate is white, skinny and served on a mirror.

Fek’lhr says: Do you know what to do when you are out hiking in a forest, and you come upon Lindsay Lohan laying on the ground crying, clutching a clown mask, claiming to have been raped, and that both of her legs have been broken? Change the batteries in your GPS, because you are OBVIOUSLY walking in circles!

Remember that joke for your next office cocktail party.  Next up: Penis-Chopping Child Actor Sentenced to Death proved perfect material for Michelle and Erswi.

Michelle07 says: Well was his penis ATTACKING him?!? Maybe his penis was attacking him. That happens sometimes right?

Erswi says: Mine doesn’t really attack so much as it spits at me. Usually in self defense.

Donkey Hodey did more great wordplay in Woody Harrelson Thwarts Zombie Attacks:

Donkey Hodey says: I love the word “Thwarts”. In fact, I’m going to start referring to a successful defense against a rapists’ attack as “genital thwarts.”

Which brings us to drunkette extraordinaire ChinoMoreno in Angels & Demons & Hall & Oates & Farts:

ChinoMoreno says: You’re a rich girl, but you’ve got to fart…

Later, Professor Rotwangchung nearly stole the competition again in 2 Guns: The Most Generic Movie Ever:

Rotwangchung says: I’m gettin’ too old for this script.

And the Michael Bay jokes.  Oh lord, the Michael Bay jokes.  From Bay Screens Transformers 2 for Steven Spielberg:

Stinky Peet says: lights come up in theater
Bay: So, what do you think?
Spielberg: It’s…. it’s…. it’s awful, Michael.
Bay: Yeah, awesome! I knew you’d think so!
Spielberg: No, aw-FULL, Mike. Just terrible.
Bay: Yeah! CYBORGS! Terrifying and awesome!
Spielberg: No, I hate it! It’s an abomination!
Bay: Well sure, Steven, we can put giant snowmen in it.

He won me over at the end.  From Michael Bay Eating Cereal:

Donkey Hodey says: Before Michael Bay came around, there were only Fruity Boulders.

From Michael Bay Plans a ‘Little Movie, Like Pulp Fiction’:

Pauly Dangerously says: Do they speak English in “BOOM!”?

File this Robopanda gem from Quentin Tarantino on Inglourious Basterds Set under “simple yet effective.”

RoboPanda says: “BECAUSE WE LOVE MAKING MOVIES”  …And then Quentin adds, “I F*CKING LOVE YAYO!!”

Later, Maxwell was all over the Twilight Making Abstinence Candies thread:

MaxwellDemon says: The problem with Twilight candies is that you can’t get into the box.

MaxwellDemon says: Other flavors include Unpopped Cherry and Statutory Grape.

Solid, that. From Woody Allen Responds to American Apparel [Ed. Note: the AA ad in the banner pic was called ‘Tank Thong’]:

Stinky Peet: That’s the outfit Woody likes Soon Yi to wear whenever they play “Tienanmen Square.”

From Do Not Want: New System Allows Comments on the Screen in Real Time:

Mark it Zero says: I’m going to stick with my laser pointer to communicate my thoughts of the movie. Haha, that chick has a nipple on her forehead! Look, I’m highlighting Jackman’s junk!

Well said.  Elsewhere, RoboPanda is better at making fun of Terrence Howard than I am:

RoboPanda says: Hey, man, I’d like to sing you a song about the energy of the universe, go karts, and baby wipes.  *tunes acoustic guitar*

And then there’s Chodin in the Dirtiest Movie Headline/’Man Cave’ thread:

Chodin says: “Thank you for calling Sony Pictures, please leave your message after the queef*


“Hey guys, it’s 1990 calling. Um, just wanted to check in and see if you cock apes could return my beer commercial at some point? Thanks.”

Yes, no one does it quite like Chodin. And before I name the winner, one more miscellaneous funny, from the Terrence Howard thread:

FistfulOAwesome says: I have to dig a lot of things after I attend a Poetry Slam.

Which brings us, finally, to our comments of the week winner. I can’t tell you this was the cleverest thing I read all week, nor the least obvious.  But damn if it didn’t make me giggle like a stoned sixth grader.  From the WOLVERINE WILL JAM YOUR GAYDAY thread:

Crapbasket says: WOLVERINE WILL JAM YOUR GAYDAR… right up his ass!

What can I say, folks, comedy doesn’t have to reinvent the wheel.  So send me your address ASAP, Crappy, you lucky, obvious, hilarious, simple bastard.

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