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If you’ve ever read a novel by Irvine Welsh (the Scottish writer who wrote Trainspotting), you get the feeling that you’re dealing with a borderline sociopathic misanthrope holding on to sanity by a thin strand. In short, a man after my own heart. The latest news is that he’s set to direct a remake of Magnificent Seven.
Welsh will direct gritty UK comedy The Magnificent Eleven, a modern-day version of the classic 1960 western The Magnificent Seven in which the Cowboys are a local amateur soccer team, the Indians run a nearby Tandoori restaurant and the bandits are a group of menacing thugs run by a maniac called Blonde Bob. The film is set to star Sean Bean, Dougray Scott and Robert Vaughan, the veteran actor who is the last surviving cast member from the original Magnificent Seven. [ScreenDaily]
According to IMDB, Welsh made his directing debut last year with a film called Good Arrows, which went direct to DVD in the UK and has one copy left on Amazon. Also, this guy didn’t seem to like it much. But you have to figure anything that pisses off Irvine Welsh is good for society in the long run. In fact, instead of letting him direct, I think we should just do a reality game show where he has to be Taboo partners with Werner Herzog. Loser has to interview Billy Bush and pretend to be interested.
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It’s because of some “Hairy Luck” that Robert Pattison’s in the news.
So basically the only thing that this film has in common with the original is “The”, “Magnificent” and Robert Vaughan.
Also, a soccer team are the heroes? No. Fucking. Thanks. What, are they going to fight crime by kicking the bandits in the shins?
I once watched a porn called ‘The Magnificent Eleven’. It was a gangbang. Question is..will this film’s climax be just as entertaining? I think not.
Blonde Bob is my nickname for your mother. OH!
JHC, have you seen the gif of the soccer player biting his teammates junk in celebration for a goal? Soccer is hardcore!
You had me at Sean Bean.
Oh, you’ve heard of The Magnificent Seven? That was my friend. Well, him and six other guys.
You lost me at Sean Bean but if there’s a character called Bernado O’Reilly in this, i’ll be back in.
I agree brooklyn…I’d tend that goal ifyouknowwhatimean
Or Hairy Luck, I’d like to see some Hairy Luck
Did Steve McQueen play the role of Steve McQueen?
European soccer stadiums are the closest thing you can get to the lawlessness of the wild west back then.
YUL BRYNNER IS DEAD? I thought he just had a really shitty agent.
Isn’t Robert Pattinson playing a character named McQueen in this? You know, cuz’ hes allergic to vagina now.
Yeah, I’m not sure I’d feel very safe if the defense of my town was left to a bunch of men who fall on the ground screaming when slightly touched.
Yeah, I’m not sure I’d feel very safe if the defense of my town was left to a bunch of men who fall on the ground screaming when slightly touched.
Soccer players and retards have more in common than I originally thought.
Well, if all else fails they can always save the town by taking balls to the face.
In fact, instead of letting him direct, I think we should just do a reality game show where he has to be Taboo partners with Werner Herzog.
Can’t. Stop. Rubbing. Nipples.
So… Vinnie Jones gonna be in this? Cause that would make an awful lot of sense.
If you’ve ever read a novel by Irvine Welsh (the Scottish writer who wrote Trainspotting), you get the feeling that you’re dealing with a borderline sociopathic misanthrope holding on to sanity by a thin strand.
Do we have any record of him ever calling tech support?
I thought that the Magnificent Seven took on a bunch of Mexicans, not Indians. They should have them playing against the team from Taco Bell…
Robert Pattison hates Team Taco (Bell).
Herzog: Ze Gulag. Mine secund vife. Zat time ve vent to za fashion show vit da moonkeys, ze had dat ting, remember? Um, number five dollar menu item… Um, Um, grave robbers.
Welsh: Howdy Doody?
Herzog: YAH! YAH!
I fully expected The Stath to chime in on this.
Robert Pattinson turned down a part in this. Misheard the title as The Magnificunt Eleven.
Anybody remember the Scottish Soccer Hooligans from SNL? I hope this is like that.
In other words, lots of drunken shenanigans, headbutting and projectile vomiting.
Patty, that’s why Vinnie Jones had better be in this.
See also: Mean Machine.
Anybody remember Shaolin Soccer?
Me neither.
Irving Welsh: [sigh], I’m here with William Bu-
Billy Bush: Please, Ernie. Call me Billy.
Welsh: Irving.
Bush: No. Billy.
Welsh: For fucks sake, man. Me name’s Irving.
Bush: Ohhhh, hahahaha. My bad. Well, back to you, Ryan.
Welsh: The fuck? It’s my interview ya fockin’ ponce. The fuck is Ryan?
Bush: I like turtles.
[tips over chair, storms off set]
Oh, definitely. This movie needs Vinnie Jones.
I bet Sam Worthington is learning a british accent right now so he can be in this film.