Well, folks, it’s Comments of the Week time again, and the winner gets a shirt. It’s sad that we have to do it this way on the internet, instead of getting some busty babes from the local junior college to shoot them at your face with a bazooka, but c’est la vie. Even if you’re not the winner, you can still cover your fleshy torso, so long as you show papa the money. [now closed — congrats, Mick].
Okay, okay, enough foreplay. So I’d love to reward a newbie, but I can’t deny salty veteran Donkey Hodey, who gave me the biggest laugh this week in Baby Goose Bangs Dead Cats Against Trees:
Donkey Hodey says: At the heart of things, what Gosling was really doing was playing the world’s simplest violin.
You complete me, Mr. Hodey, now send me your shirt size. And now for the HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Morning Zoo says: I haven’t seen a boxer that ghetto since Mike Tyson pigeon-clapped “Pack of Newports” in perfect Morse Code to a surly Korean grocer.
Yorba Linda checkin’ in at 62 degrees.
I love you, Morning Zoo.
This time, the heroes spill coffee on themselves.
/Want some Cool Ranch Doritos?
//Negative Ghostrider, my tummy is full.
Donkey Hodey solves The Mystery of the 1928 Cell Phone:
Donkey Hodey says: Back then, you weren’t allowed to sell Blackberries in the same stores as other phones.
Chino Moreno says: Jenna Jameson’s tweets are more like quacks.
Stinky Peet says: Every time Beiber tries to take it to the hole, it’s nothing but a sad litany of pump fakes and poor ball handling.
See? Stars are just like us.
Jacktion! says: Charlie got a black hooker pregnant, and she named the baby Afro Sheen.
Jacktion! says: Seriously, he came back from the dead just to bash Inception?
Get over yourself, dude. SeaQuest sucked.
Get it? John Landis, not Jonathan Brandis. Jon Brandis jokes are kind of a “thing” around here.
Ace Rimmer says: Hey girl, I’m just helping Puss find his roots.
Hey girl, would you like to hear a cat bark?
Burnsy says: I can’t believe you found his driver’s license.
And finally, from Some Pencil Wiener Tries to Rape Kristen Stewart in the Back P*ssy:
Chino Moreno says: The guy just wanted a #2 pencil d*ck.
Thanks, guys. You are exactly what I need/deserve.