08.14.09 9 years ago 27 Comments

This Japanese [of course it’s Japanese] commercial was made in 1970, when Charles Bronson had already starred in classics like Once Upon a Time in the West, The Magnificent Seven, The Dirty Dozen, and The Great Escape, and was yet to star in the Death Wish series.  Charles Bronson was a total badass, maybe because, according to the New York Times, “his family was so poor that when he was 6 he was sent to school in a dress, a hand-me-down from an older sister.”  That’ll toughen you up.  Or get you free candy.  Cool either way.

He was so badass his badassery and badassitute couldn’t be confined to just one commercial.  There were at least eight of these bad boys, including one in which he catches a fish with his bare hands and another featuring him bonding with his, uh, son?  Mmm . . . mandom.

So kick back, grab a pipe, throw your shirt in the air with a flourish, and pour half a pint of cologne on your chest and back.  Now you’re ready to shoot something.  Or smell like Bigfoot’s dick.

~ robopanda

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