01.08.10 9 years ago 19 Comments

Paramount is making G.I. Joe 2, and it looks like the Zombieland writers have picked up another scripting gig.  They’re apparently writing every movie this year, like the screenwriting equivalent of Sam Worthington. A couple days ago, Collider confirmed that Paramount would be making the sequel, today an IESB source says Zombieland writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick have been hired.  Stephen Sommers hasn’t yet signed on to return as director.

I never saw G.I. Joe, and though plenty of people claim it wasn’t as bad as it looked, this clip was more than enough reason for me to avoid it.   The writing doesn’t seem so hard though.  Let’s take a crack:

CHANNING TATUM: (*unintelligible mumbling*) Ermf.  Hey, girl.

MARLON WAYANS steps on a rake. *Splat sound effect*


CHANNING TATUM and RACHEL NICHOLS laugh as they watch MARLON WAYANS stumble around trying to uncross his eyes.

RACHEL NICHOLS:  Enough fooling around, boys.  I need to go for a jog.  I’m a scientist.  *pours water in her hair, takes off her shirt*

[10-minute montage of RACHEL NICHOLS’ boobs bouncing in a sports bra, set to the latest Linkin Park single]

MARLON WAYANS: (slobbering like a dog) Yo, girl, when you gonna let me get witchoo?

RACHEL NICHOLS: I don’t believe in love. I’m a scientist. *flips her hair, sucks on lollipop*

MARLON WAYANS: Yo, that is wack!  *gets hit in the crotch by an eagle*

CHANNING TATUM: (*unintelligible mumbling*) Ermf.  Hey, girl.

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