Senior Editor
03.09.10 48 Comments

Remember when the Avatard forums wondered if there were gays on Pandora (“while I watch the film, I can’t help but imagine that in the world of AVATAR, there’s no such thing as hatred, homophobia, or intolerance”)?  Well, what gay nightclubs in South Florida presupposes is, yes.  Yes there are gays on Pandora, and they have glorious shirtless gay dance parties (gays and Na’vi have that in common).  Here’s the description from MiamiNewsTimes (via TheAwl):

Men, and the occasional guidette, danced to stock tribal house in varying degrees of undress. The place was a jungle. Literally. [Editor’s Note: Not literally.] This wasn’t your typical circuit party, The Living Room in Ft. Lauderdale was in the middle of an “Avatar”-themed party. And it wasn’t the only one.

They painted the floor with fluorescent colors, and covered the ceiling with weedy netting to resemble a canopy. The typically scantily clad bartenders were scantily clad again, only bluer. Drag queens Na’vi-ly accessorized with head-dresses and day-glow makeup. The club even hired a face-painter to bedazzle the gays, gratis.

When asked why, of all the movies to organize a theme party around, they chose “Avatar,” Leonard got reflective. “The drama of the movie parallels the drama in the nightlife world,” he says. “Everyone’s calling the police on each other, liquor license inspectors, booking celebrities against each other.” [Ed. Note: Me-yow, *cat hiss*]

But, Jason Tucker, one of the organizers of Gaylaxicon, the annual queer sci-fi convention, doesn’t see the parties becoming ubiquitous. The mainstream still sees sci-fi as unhip, he says. And James Barrett, a former convention attendee, says that while in “someone’s fantasy-writing some poor human has already been fisted by a Na’vi,” the movie is not likely to explode as a fetish object in the gay community for that same reason.

I know they mean to reference “galaxy”, but “Gaylaxicon” seems to have a rather unfortunate laxative connotation.  Anyway, here’s a riddle for you: if a gay Na’vi goes to a glory hole, what does he stick through the hole, his real wiener or his tail/brain wiener deal?  Also: what did the gay Na’vi say to the other gay Na’vi at the Pandora-themed glory hole?  “I c. you.”  Okay I’ll stop.

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