Senior Editor
03.10.09 29 Comments

Look, George, there’s a kitty over there. Did you see the kitty, George? Wanna go pet the kitty later, George?

Even after three gnü movies, an animated movie, and countless other crap that I don’t care enough about to look up, George Lucas is still milking Star Wars‘ old, curdled teat.  Latest project?  A live-action Star Wars TV series.

“According to Lucas, the show will focus on minor characters from the saga and be set in the time period between “Revenge of the Sith” (Episode III) and the original “Star Wars” (Episode IV). The action will follow the Rebel Alliance as it slowly gains strength against the Empire. There will be Stormtroopers, but no Jedi or Darth Vader will appear on screen. As he did with the “Clone Wars” series, Lucas will write and shoot an entire year’s worth of episodes before looking for a cable channel on which to air the series.” [MTV]

After retarded Jamaican alien Jar-Jar Binks and his gay Jabba the Hutt based on Truman Capote characters, who knows what delicious surprises Lucas has in store for us this time! Ooh, I know!  How ’bout Han Solo has a Puerto Rican niece, based on Rosie Perez?  Mira, Chuy, ju deeden’t feex the pinche hyperdrive right, stupeed. Lujana Soto, we could call her.

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