Nowadays when people make movies for kids, they usually do it with an adult cast pandering embarrassingly to what they imagine to be a child’s sensibilities, or with androgynous young boys hand picked by pedophiles and made to sing and dance. But back in ’86, some brave soul thought, Hey, why not just make a film noir about a woman-hating private dick, and have 8-year-olds play all the parts? The result was Hawk Jones, and I don’t know why they don’t make more movies like this. Check out the stick-figure chalk outline at the 1:45 mark. Tell me that’s not freakin’ adorable. The formula is fool proof. The only thing that could ruin a movie like this? You guessed it, Cam Gigandet.