Hayden Christensen in ‘The Schma Schminci Schmode’

Senior Editor
05.12.10 101 Comments

I let this story slip under the radar when it broke a few days ago, so thanks to ThePlaylist for the reminder.   The story is that Hayden Christensen, after having his career destroyed by George Lucas dialogue, is starring in, I swear I’m not making this up, “The Genesis Code.”  Hmm, that sounds like a total rip-off of the Da Vinci Code it’s tapping into a proven market hungry for this type of story.  It’s set to be directed by David R. Ellis (Snakes on a Plane, The Final Destination).

The story follows a former national security expert, played by Christensen, who, while investigating the murder of his only sister and her young son, discovers that a religious sect called The Shadow of the Cross may be involved. With the help of his sister’s friend Ana, they follow the clues to a clinic in the mountains of Italy, where a terrifying secret experiment has been conducted – successfully. The results are so threatening to the foundation of the Church that they will do anything to keep it from being revealed. [Collider]

See, the key to tapping into a proven market is to just take elements of the original and rename it so that it’s more obvious what it is.  Da Vinci Code —> The Genesis Code. The Illuminati —> Shadow of the Cross.  Wall E —> The Curious Trash Robot.  Tom Hanks —> Hayden Christensen.  Oh, but the lulz don’t end there.  Come with me after the jump if you want to read some awesomely asinine press release quotes.

“We are very pleased to have Hayden on board for this project,” said Myriad Pictures President Kirk D’Amico. “His passion for the character of Joe Lassiter* and the world he inhabits – of religion, politics and secret operatives – was apparent to all of us involved in the project.

Oh sure, his passion for religion, politics, and secret operatives was apparent to all, sure. I bet he practically walked in the room and shouted “OBAMA IS THE ANTICHRIST!” then set off a smoke grenade and dove out the window.  It’s what we in the business call “pulling a Sizemore.”

*The Da Vinci Code protagonist: Robert Langdon

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