Senior Editor
05.14.08 48 Comments

Image/Millennium Films has announced a remake of the Harvey Keitel cult classic Bad Lieutenant, to be directed by Werner Herzog, starring Nic Cage in the title role

Now, before we go all Lou Dobbs on this one, I’d like to point out the numerous parallels between this project and the Wicker Man remake, perhaps the most breathtakingly awesome shitty movie in the history of cinema.

Wicker Man Remake: based on critically acclaimed 1973 cult horror classic
Bad Lieutenant Remake: based on critically acclaimed 1992 cult NC-17 classic
WMR: Directed by respected indie director of Nurse Betty and In the Company of Men
BLR: Directed by respected indie director of Grizzly Man and Rescue Dawn
WMR: Included many scenes of hilarious violence against women, including Nic Cage knocking out a female bartender, kicking Lelee Sobieski against a wall, and of course, punching out a woman whilst dressed as a bear
BLR: Remake of a movie about a character who "takes a twisted delight in humiliating women."
WMR: Nic Cage
BLR: Nic Cage
WMR: "Not the bees!"
BLR: Locusts?  Centipedes?  Dragonflies?  Crotch ferrets?  Oh my God I have a huge boner right now.

Additional trivia: Original Bad Lieutenant director Abel Ferrara previously directed a film called The 9 Lives of a Wet Pussy, and an episode of Miami Vice entitled "The Dutch Oven."  (Check some video of what we’re dealing with after the jump)Harvey Keitel hates radios, uh, African Americans (audio NWS)

Harvey Keitel is not masturbating, is in love with you

Nic Cage Hates Bees

Mega Wicker Man

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