James Bond: “Excuse me, while I kiss this guy.”

06.01.10 9 years ago 73 Comments

A few years back, I reported a completely unsubstantiated rumor that Daniel Craig was pushing James Bond producers to write in a gay tryst for 007 (suggested character: German Bond boy/double agent Wieners Aplenty).   Today, it’s another unsubstantiated rumor, this time that Craig was making out with a dude at a bar.  And as we all know, two unverifiable rumors = fact.

The National Enquirer quotes two witnesses who say they saw 42-year-old Craig, who is in a long-term relationship with film producer Satsuki Mitchell, at the Roosterfish bar in California on May 15. The first source says: “It was definitely Daniel Craig and he was most certainly making out with a guy.”

“It was an open-mouth passionate French kiss. In fact, Daniel held the guy’s head in his hands and pull[ed] him in for the kiss!”

The source says Craig broke off when he realised he was being watched. “If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I would not have believed it.”

Still, just because one sees a guy give an open-mouthed French kiss to another guy, one shouldn’t jump to conclusions.  When my buddy Bruce told me he was ordering the UFC on his 60-inch plasma screen this weekend, I got pretty excited too, and we’re as straight as they come.  Anyway, even if it is true, Daniel Craig is an actor, and actors always have an excuse for this sort of thing*.  You could be in a room with three goats, a bottle of lube, and a lactating Eskimo woman, and if anyone walks in, you just shout “I’M RESEARCHING FOR A ROLE!”

*sub excuse: Actors are totally queer.

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