Javier Bardem stars in “Remove your panties, give me Oscar.”

Senior Editor
10.19.10 10 Comments

This is Javier Bardem in the new trailer for Alejandro Gonzalez Iñarritu’s Biutiful, in which he plays 190 pounds of swarthy Oscar bait and sweaty sex appeal.

Biutiful is a love story between a father and his children. This is the journey of Uxbal, a conflicted man who struggles to reconcile fatherhood, love, spirituality, crime, guilt and mortality amidst the dangerous underworld of modern Barcelona. His livelihood is earned out of bounds, his sacrifices for his children know no bounds. Like life itself, this is a circular tale that ends where it begins. [Apple]

Mmm, circular, like ouroboros dismissively wanking.  This will be Mexican filmmaker Iñarritu’s fourth film since 2000’s Amores Perros (Amores Perros, 21 Grams, Babel), and his first film since 1996 without screenwriter Guillermo Arriaga.  Amores Perros is one of my favorite movies, and 21 Grams was good, but it also seemed like it was on a mission to make the audience feel really sh*tty. Gaaah, feel bad, damn you!  Here’s some more depressing stuff!   That’s probably why I still haven’t seen Babel.  I hope Biutiful is more like Perros, but if you’re an aspiring filmmaker, the lesson here is, making rich people feel bad about themselves has a direct correlation with critical acclaim.

I’d like to see one where Danny Trejo plays his sidekick. “Mira, I theenk ju got sometheen of my frengd’s. Si si, el Oscar.”

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