LIONSGATE LOVES JESUS

Senior Editor
10.18.07 58 Comments

Lionsgate has made a deal with "faith-based content company" the Indelible Creative Group. Lionsgate has previously had success distributing Christian books and DVDs, and with some of Tyler Perry’s earlier films.

Lionsgate president and COO Steve Beeks said the studio "is making a concerted effort to expand its leadership in the faith-based category."
Lionsgate’s other forays into faith-based films includes the upcoming theatrical release, "Church Boy," based on the true story of gospel star Kirk Franklin*, and a feature adaptation of the Thomas Kinkade painting called "The Christmas Cottage."

Wait a second, time out – a feature adaptation of a PAINTING? A painting doesn’t even have a plot until you invent one for it. This has gotta be some action-packed painting, with flaming dildo headed zombie vampires and stuff, rightRight?!  Oh sweet Jesus, it’s a house.  They optioned the story rights to A PICTURE OF A GODDAMNED HOUSE.  A movie based on a landscape.  And a really cheesy and stupid landscape at that.  I’m speechless.

Hey look, everyone, I drew a picture of Jesus.  He’s eating Pringles and making the sign for "A-okay".  Now every time you make a "faith-based" movie, you have to pay me.  Sorry, it’s in the Bible.

*Who, as astute commenter Luchador pointed out, is a former porno addict. Are there any hardcore Christian leaders out there who aren’t addicted to men, meth, or masturbating in SCUBA suits?   

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