Senior Editor
01.25.08 33 Comments

A while back, I brought you the news (along with a very professional photoshop job) that Jonathan Rhys-Meyers would be playing the title character in Scorpion King director Chuck Russell’s upcoming Mandrake the Magician

Oh don’t worry, it’s about as gay as it sounds.

Mandrake gestured hypnotically and the subject or subjects of this hypnosis would suddenly see the illusions he wanted. Mandrake fought criminals and other villains in his spare time. This would include common gangsters, mad scientists, and aliens from outer space or other dimensions. Traveling the globe with a group of able-bodied assistants, Mandrake fought supervillains such as The Cobra, The Brass Monkey, and Mandrake’s evil twin brother, Derek.

Jesus, this sounds like it should go straight to the Sci-Fi Channel.  Couture’s role hasn’t been decided, but with Jonathan Rhys-Meyers playing the lead, I can only imagine what "gestured hypnotically" will mean.  Perhaps he’ll fight crime with his superhuman ability to make out with dudes.  According to his IMDB page, he has a horse named Belle.  Which I can only imagine he rides while holding a parasol and a matching handbag, and a glittery wand with pink troll doll hair at the end.  I guess what I’m saying is that he’s been preparing for this role his whole life and it’s going to be really good.   

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