10.06.09 9 years ago 30 Comments

(Michael Bay prefers to yell “SKEET SKEET SKEET!” rather than “Action.”)

Transformers 3 has an official release date, and it’s in 2011, not 2012 as originally feared.  That means Megan Fox, Michael Bay, and the whole Transformers crew have to kiss and make up, if only for the sake of the robots that punch each other and hump stuff.  In the hopes of burying the hatchet*, Bay had a message for Megan Fox on his website:

Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Get it?  He’s trying to imply that he’s like a prescription drug commercial.  Very clever, Michael Bay.  I picture a middle aged couple kayaking. But then all of a sudden, someone pops the top on some Michael Bay pills, and they turn into two hot chicks sword fighting on top of a shark.  Other side effects of Michael Bay may include disorientation, ADHD, four-hour erections, ectopic pregnancy, and Ferrari.

*(*Michael Bay points to his crotch*)

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