Senior Editor
09.03.07 9 Comments

The director of The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor will be sharing his experiences in a new blog.  I won't mention him by name for fear of creating another Brett Ratner or McG, but he's previously directed such films as xXx [sic capitalization], The Fast and the Furious, and The Skulls

It's strange – I have a blog, and I too squeeze out a lot of turds, but rarely do I feel the need to blog about them.  Usually, I just stand up from the toilet to admire my handiwork while yelling "Come quick, you've gotta see this!" at my girlfriend in the next room.  Other times, I just send her pictures my cell phone.  They say relationships are all about sharing.

Still, I do wonder about the musings of a director of his caliber.

Day 1: Wrestlemania's on and I'm totally bummed cuz I can't watch it.  WWE makes my dick hard!  I'm also strUGGalin cuz this movies sposta be, like, set in ancient China or some shit, and I'm havin trouble figurin out what kinda music to put in it, cuz like what the hell did they listen 2 way back then, you know???  Ugh! :-(  And seriously you guys? Like, the right music is the first step in any good movie.  I mean, you throw on a bumpin techno ass shaker and the story almost doesn't matter.  House music totally saved my life!! Anyway, I'm gonna have to talk to the writer today becuz my assistant just read me the script and I was like, hello? No cars, really?  I mean, Jesus, if this is supposed to have no music and no cool cars, like, what's gonna be, like two hours of people talking?? LOL!  This Mummy needs to race motorcycles or be a BASE-jumping vampire or something, because right now he's totally not doing it for me! >:-P 

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