PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARDS: LOST CATEGORIES

Senior Editor
11.11.08 36 Comments

This originally came out around this time last year, but in honor of the People’s Choice Awards releasing their list of nominees, I couldn’t resist reposting.  As always, feel free to submit your own.

People’s Choice Awards – The Lost Categories

Favorite Beverage: Sunny Delight, Kool Aid, Mountain Dew, Coors
Favorite Author: Dan Brown, John Grisham, Donald Trump, Jesus
Favorite Birth Control Method: Condoms, Saran Wrap, Mountain Dew, Anal
Favorite Sport: NASCAR, Noodling, Grabass, Horseplay

•    Favorite Salad Dressing: Ranch, Thousand Island, Buttermilk, Gravy
•   Favorite Scapegoat: Queers, The Devil, Mexicans, Evolution
•    Favorite Restaurant: Arby’s, The Olive Garden, Dairy Queen, Spago
•    Favorite Tattoo: ‘Mom’, Arm Band, Tramp Stamp, Tribal
•    Favorite Footwear: Socks, Tube Socks, Aqua Socks, Birkenstocks
•    Favorite Dessert: Snickers, Otter Pops, Toothpaste, Keystone
•   Favorite Actress: Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Jenna Jameson, That Black Chick
•    Favorite Neckwear: Scarf, Ascot, T-Shirt, Hickies
•    Favorite Foreigner: David Beckham, Borat, 50 Cent, A-Rod
•    Favorite Steak: Sirloin, Salisbury, Chicken-Fried, Tube
•   Favorite Facial Hair: Goatee, Soul Patch, Chinstrap, Neck Beard
•   Favorite Statutory Rape Rationalization: “If She’s Old Enough to Bleed, She’s Old Enough to Breed,” “If There’s Grass on the Field, Play Ball,” “If She’s Tall Enough to Reach the Mailbox, She’s Old Enough to Get the Package,” “Shit Happens.”
•   Favorite Child Name: Connor, Cody, Cooder, Shitferbrains
•    Favorite Hairstyle (Male): Mullet, Bowl Cut, ‘Bama Bangs, Sox Hat
•    Favorite Hairstyle (Female): Jersey Girl, Fe-Mullet, Power Bangs, Sox Hat
•    Favorite Minority: Coloreds, Slant Eyes, Towel Heads, Pedro
•    Favorite Contraction: Ain’t, Y’all, Wadn’t, Mu’F-cker
•    Favorite Snack: Bugles, Pork Rinds, Cigarettes, Hot Pockets
•    Favorite Ethnic Food: Orange Chicken, Croissants, Mac n Cheese, Nachos

And, since this is People’s Choice, feel free to submit your own!

User Submitted:

Favorite Birth Defects: Webbed Feet, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Club Feet, Freckles
Favorite Place to Beat Your Kids: Butt, Face and Neck Area, Right Thur in the Middle a the Goddamned Wal-Mart in Front a the Manager and Everbuddy

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