Remake Watch: Baywatch movie, Michael Bay doing Rosemary’s Baby?

03.31.10 8 years ago 6 Comments

Hollywood execs would rather watch cable than read scripts, so naturally, there are a lot of remakes on the way.  Today in remake news…

Anna Faris is attached to remake 1980 Goldie Hawn comedy Private Benjamin.   “The original starred Hawn as a spoiled woman who joins the Army after her husband dies during sex on their wedding night.  The new take will set the story in contemporary times with modern wars as the backdrop. Hey, remember when they already tried this sh*t with Jessica Simpson?  It was like Legally Blonde meets In the Army NowLegally Retarded, I think it was called.  I wonder if it made back its $30 million budget during its theatrical run in Russia and Bulgaria. But I’m sure this will be great. |THR|

Baywatch movie gets new writers.  Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka, who wrote the upcoming The Sitter for Jonah Hill and David Gordon Green, are taking over for The Break-Up‘s Jeremy Garelick, and National Security writers Jay Scherick and David Ronn, who’d worked on earlier versions of the project.  Five screenwriters, that’s a good sign, right?  “Additionally, insiders place the “Baywatch” adaptation in the context of a TV revamp like “Charlie’s Angels” rather than “Starsky and Hutch,” [that’s good, I was worried it wouldn’t be sh*tty] which indicates that female-driven action is also on the menu.”  Which is bullsh*t.  Everyone knows David Hasselhoff wrestling alligators was the heart of the show. (see video above) |RiskyBizBlog|

Michael Bay doing Rosemary’s Baby? Yesterday, Roger Ebert tweefed: “Michael Bay is remaking ‘Rosemary’s Baby. O….kay…’, and then later: “My previous post was too hard to decipher? I’ll translate: Michael Bay remaking ‘Rosemary’s Baby?’ WTF!” Since Ebert has so many followers, “Michael Bay” and “Rosemary’s Baby” quickly developed into trending topics.  Thing is, unless Ebert has some new news the rest of us aren’t privy to, the last I heard was that Bay’s production company was negotiating for the rights back in March ’08 (with no plans for Bay to direct), only to shelve the idea that December.  So relax, people, there are plenty horrible remake ideas to get worked up over that are actually happening.  Like the two I just mentioned, for instance.

“What our movie presupposes is, maybe Rosemary gave birth to Jaden Smith?”

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