Senior Editor
10.28.09 26 Comments

In The Blind Side, Sandra Bullock plays a wealthy southerner who adopts a poor black child and, with the help of folksy wisdom, teaches him to play football. The moral of the story is, if you can raise a child better than your neighbor, you should steal that child and raise it so that it might reward you with NFL money.  Unfortunately for porn star Janine Lindemulder, it seems Sandra Bullock may have taken the lesson to heart.  And if you didn’t want to read this whole dumb paragraph, the gist was PORN STAR JANINE LINDEMULDER.

Bullock is trying to prove that she is a better parent for her husband’s five year-old daughter, Sunny, than the girl’s mother, 40-year-old Janine Lindemulder, who has just served six months in prison for tax evasion. Lindemulder is currently in a halfway house and can apply for custody of her child at the beginning of next year but Bullock’s husband, US television star Jesse James, has already taken action to keep the child with them.

“Good cause exists for the court to conduct a review to determine if (the girl) will be safe with (Lindemulder),” James said in a statement to the court. “She should be restrained from allowing the child around pornographers, drug addicts, guns and firearms, felons and other unsafe [fun] environments.”

Now a set designer at a photographic studio, Lindemulder is the star of over 100 adult films including Mrs Behavin’, Sleeping Booty and Dyke Diner.  Bullock, 45, is estimated to be worth $177 million and James has told the court that he earns a large income. Lindemulder owes $318,000 in taxes and earns $13 per hour. []

Bullock later pointed at Lindemulder, adding, “Porn star? More like POORn star!” and led the assembled crowd in a spirited round of egg throwing.  Okay, so in retrospect, this story was more about professional boring guy Jesse James trying to get custody of his kid than anything Sandra Bullock or Janine did.  But can you blame me for being swayed by the sensationalist Australian reporting?  My favorite was this: “Bullock, James and Lindemulder all have homes in the wealthy Los Angeles beach front suburb Orange County.”  Suburb?  I don’t expect you guys to know the geography, but come on, “County” is in the title.

Pff, seems like a great mom.

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