Senior Editor
01.12.10 16 Comments

(Hurrr, upside down kiss; ur doin’ it wrong)

It was first reported as a rumor on DeadlineHollywood and later confirmed by Sony, Spider-man 4 is off, and Sony is rebooting the franchise.  Looks like they were still having script problems, so Sam Raimi told Sony he couldn’t make the planned summer 2011 release date.  Rather than replace him on 4, they opted for a total reboot with a new director and cast, planned for 2012.  From DHD:

Immediately, the news brought celebration and consternation equally to webslinger fanboys who say the reboot plot puts Peter Parker back in high school. There’s also much unconfirmed speculation that this new franchise will be in 3D. And the fans also recall that, in 1991, James Cameron wrote a treatment for Spider-Man and now they’re wondering if he might helm the reboot. (Sony ended up acquiring his treatment in a legal settlement.)

Let me put an end to their wonderment: no, James Cameron isn’t going to direct a Spider-Man movie.  He’s the hottest person in Hollywood, no way he’s dealing with Sony’s bullsh*t and an established franchise.  However, now that Spidey is safely back in high school, Sony is free to cast some kid with fruity Zac Efron hair from Wizards of Waverly place or similar (keep your phone on, Taylor Lautner).  And of course it will be in 3D because money.  Sony couldn’t strongarm Sam Raimi, so they’ll get a director who they can, and it will suck because directors you can strongarm rarely make good movies.  Say what you will about Sam Raimi — Spider-Man 2 was the only decent movie of the franchise — few directors do schlock and silliness as well as he does, and the success of the franchise seems more because of him and despite Sony, rather than the other way around.  Does anyone even care about a Spider-Man movie at this point?  I think we’ve hit the tipping point on Superhero movies.  I never thought I’d hear myself typing this, but not every protagonist has to wear spandex.

However, I’d like to see the rebooted Spider-Man look something like this:

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