Da Stafe is chasin’ a cop killah, innit.

Senior Editor
11.01.10 22 Comments

Oi, conts. It’s da Stafe ‘ere, innit. Whoilst it wiz fun muckin’ about wiff Sloy Stallone an dem ovva geezahs in Da Expendabews, da Stafe is in da proime of ‘is loife, an’ ‘e don’t roide shotgun in some ovva cont’s sazz wagon for very long, now does Oy. Roight. So Oy ‘as got a fiwm a me own once again, and dis toime, some cont is killin’ coppahs, donnit. Turns out, da cont ‘as been running ’round London offin’ coppahs left and roight, an’ da ovva conts is wew ‘elpless to stop ‘im coz dey’s too busy pushin’ penciws an’ playin’ boy da fockin rules, now isn’ dey. Meanswhoilst, Da Stafe is a loose fockin cannon, oo ‘as been kicked off da force for knobbin’ too many fit birds and doin’ flash stunts on BMX boicycles, donnit. But da fing about a loose cannon is, whoilst ‘e moight knob ya girlfriend when ya’s not lookin’, dere’s nuffin bettah for blowin’ a cont’s ‘ead off, now is dere.

So one day, whoilst da Stafe wiz busy doin’ ‘andstand pushups an’ tamin’ savage canoines, da chief a police shows up at da Stafe’s flat, an’ ‘e’s aw loike, “Oi, Stafe, some ovva cont is runnin’ round murdrin police officahs, an’ we is wew ‘elpless wiffout you. Come ‘an use ya muscows ta give da cont a good drubbin, an Oy promise yous kin knob my daughtah, da Essex blow job givin’ champion.”

An’ Oy’s aw loike, “Oi, da blow job champion? Sorry, but Da Stafe ‘as awready given dat bird a wew good knobbin’. But as soon as oy finish tamin’ dese rufless bloody fockin canoines, oy promise ta give dis cont a good drubbin’, cos it just so ‘appens dat givin’ cont’s a drubbin is Da Stafe’s favrite ‘obby, now innit.”

Via YahooUK

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