01.15.10 8 years ago 34 Comments

(Kelly Brook and Riley Steele on the set of Piranha 3D; source = WWTDD)

Sometimes we forget that the victims of this financial crisis aren’t all Best Buy clerks who can no longer afford the mortgage payments on their $600,000 house, or Wall Street execs who couldn’t buy new ponies for their daughter’s yacht this Christmas.  Some of the victims are just regular, hard-working films like Piranha 3D.

The Weinstein Company has fallen on hard times. Nine is a financial disaster, despite its Golden Globe nominations. And their 2009 genre box office was gloomy.
Tonight, the company has announced Piranha 3D has been pushed out of April into an undetermined August slot. David Glaser, a senior Weinstein Co. executive, tells the L.A. Times that the decision was not motivated by finances.
Sources tell us that when the film does arrives in August, it will not be in 3D. [Shocktillyoudrop]

Poor Piranha 3D. It’s sad when you can’t even afford the thing that’s in the title.  But I think we all know who’s to blame for this:  Kate Hudson.  That’s right, Kate Hudson.  Kate Hudson was in Nine, and they even let her sing a damned song in the trailer, despite the fact that she hasn’t been in a movie that’s scored over 50% on RottenTomatoes in ten years.  Her last four scored 12%, 15%, 10%, and 21%, respectively (full numbers after the jump).  Kate Hudson is to movies what Chinese milk is to baby food, and not only do they not take her out, they keep putting her name on the box.  Bottom line, this is all her fault, and the sooner she pays us back the TARP money, the sooner we can all get on with our lives.

Bride Wars: 12%
My Best Friend’s Girl: 15%
Fool’s Gold: 10%
You, Me, and Dupree: 21%
The Skeleton Key: 38%
Raising Helen: 22%
Le Divorce: 38%
Alex & Emma: 11%
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: 43%
Four Feathers: 41%
Dr. T and the Women: 57%

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