Senior Editor
11.29.07 155 Comments

[Ed. Note: I added a bunch to the list at the end (after the jump) based on all the feedback] Today Cinematical has a list of the worst fake accents (act-cents?) in movie history. Their list:

1. Kevin Costner – Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
2. Val Kilmer – Alexander
3. The Cast of Bram Stoker’s Dracula
4. Brad Pitt – Seven Years in Tibet
5. John Wayne – The Long Voyage Home
6. Heather Graham – From Hell
7. Christopher Lambert – Highlander

Not a bad jumping off point, but they didn’t pick any of my favorites:
Richard Gere in First Knight.  Apparently Lancelot was American.
Benicio Del Toro in Snatch.  What the hell country are you supposed to be from?
Heath Ledger in Brothers Grimm.  I cain’t understand you, go back to yer country.
Sean Connery in The Untouchables.  Uh, dude, aren’t you supposed to be Irish?  Oh right, you’re Sean Connery, my bad. 

Mel Gibson in the first Lethal Weapon. Mel still sounded Australian at this stage of his career. No one felt the need to explain that.
Colin Farrell in Phone Booth. I love it when Anglos talk New Yawk. Captain Eyebrows overdoes it just enough to keep Russell Crowe in American Gangster off the list.
Drew Barrymore in any movie.  Once you stop being a child actor, speech impediments cease to be cute.
Vanessa Angel in Kingpin. She goes in and out of dialects, but you’re allowed to do that when you have huge tits.
The cast of Miami Vice.  Okay, maybe it’s not an accent, persay, but Goddamn, are you really gonna make me watch an American movie with the subtitles on?  Get a sound editor in here.
Adam Sandler in Little Nicky/The Waterboy. Dude, stop, that’s really weird.
Mos Def in 16 Blocks.  What. the fuck. are you doing?

The "Irish" chick in Caddyshack.  Tanks fer nuttin’!
Cate Blanchett in just about anything (but especially The Aviator and Life Aquatic).  Yeah, we get it, you’re acting.  *gold star for you*
Nic Cage in Con Air.  I knew he sucked in something!  Damn you, Coppola relatives!
John Malkovich as KGB in Rounders.  I actually loved him in this movie, but so many nominations… Guess it was over the top, but still.
Kirsten Dunst in Marie Antoinette.  Haven’t seen it myself because I avoid Sofia Coppola movies like fat chicks at an orgy, but it sounds like it could be true.
Jar Jar Binks.  How did we miss that one? Probably the most annoying voice in movie history.
Madonna in real life.  See heah, luv, you ahn’t British, savvy?
Keanu Reeves in Dangerous Liaisons.  Again, haven’t seen it, but it sounds like it should make the list. Must admit he did a pretty good job in The Gift though.  -Way to go, team *ass slaps all around*

Biggest upset? Nic Cage not making this list. Meanwhile, Brad Pitt runs away with best accent in movie history for Mickey in Snatch (in second place, "Moy naime is Chev Chelios, and todaiy’s da day oy doy," – Jason Statham) LATE ADDITIONS: Benicio in Usual Suspects, Hugh Laurie in House – I don’t watch that show, but i’ve seen enough promos to know the dude nails it, impressive.  Also, expect new additions to the worst list once The Other Boleyn Girl comes out.

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