(*breathes into paper bag*)
Folks, nothing makes me feel like reality is all just a cruel hallucination like reading about the latest Hasbro film project in development. Whether it be Magic 8-Ball, Candyland, Battleship, Risk, Ouija Board oh God I just farted blood. I can’t even fathom the mindset that could think this is a good idea. Could spending millions of dollars on these really be cheaper than coming up with a new toy? Would a movie studio actually PAY a toy company for the right to make a two-hour commercial for THEIR toy? The very questions make my head hurt (that I’m also slamming it in a car door right now could be a factor).
Destroy our faith in humanity,
What better way to exploit all of the Hasbro miscellanea than to rip off Night of the Museum? We’ve learned exclusively, via The Hollywood Cog, that that’s exactly what Paramount and Hasbro are doing: Developing a movie called Hasbro Factory, which is being described as Night at the Museum inside a Hasbro Factory, which also makes it something akin to Toy Story with only Hasbro Toys. The details we have are scant — it’s out to writers at the moment. We don’t even know which toys will make it into the final movie, or if the board games on which other movies are being based will make crossover appearances, but in either respect, it’s really silly to be talking about the possibility of the Battleship Board Game making an appearance in a movie with the Play-Doh man. But that’s the state we’re in right now.
F*ck. It’s strange, whenever I try to imagine one of these toy movies, all I can picture is that Shake Weight commercial.