Life

You Won Childhood If You Had These ’80s Toys When You Were A Kid

Maybe you had a hundred GI Joe figures when you were a kid, but if you didn’t get your hands on the USS Flagg you probably still feel unfulfilled. Maybe you still remember the sense of dejection you had while comparing hauls with the kids in the cafeteria, because you knew you weren’t coming away with a victory.

The good news is that if you’ve got an eBay account (and some disposable income), you can right the wrongs of the past and make this the greatest Christmas of your life. Sure, it’ll be slightly awkward when your presents to yourself greatly outshine the ones that you get your kids — but you’re teaching them about the value of wish fulfillment. When you get down to it, isn’t a life lesson the best gift of all?

Maybe not…because these eight ’80s presents blow life lessons off the board.

Boglins

Originally released by Mattel in 1987, Boglins were incredibly cool monster hand puppets that came in a variety of designs. While popular, Boglins never really took off. (A line of mini figures was also released, but they too were under-appreciated).

In the year 2000, Mattel attempted to revive the line, but once again America was unwilling to embrace the creepy wonders because they were too caught up with their rollerblades and Y2K.

With a growing online cult dedicated to the toys and their various incarnations, though, expect these to rise, Phoenix-like, from toy obscurity sooner rather than later.

Where you can find one now: Here’s a little secret, Boglins are always turning up priced reasonably on Etsy.

Snake Mountain

1980s SAT time: He-Man is to Castle Grayskull as Skeletor is to _________. If you said Snake Mountain, you are absolutely correct. Featuring a design that makes the immersive playset look like a leftover production design from The Dark Crystal — seriously, tell me there’s not a Jim Henson influence here — the toy is infinitely cooler than where He-Man hangs his hat, sword, whatever. The takeaway from all of this? Being evil means you’re destined to score a pretty great lair and, since cartoon villains never die, a pretty great mortgage rate thanks to the job stability.

×