We have a little over — oh my god, it’s only FOUR DAYS! — until Christmas and if you haven’t finished your holiday shopping for this year, you’re probably feeling all sorts of stress and pressure. The thought of trekking through the mall and absorbing everybody else’s panicked vibe sounds like a real bummer of a time, too. And the lines!
Forget that. Instead, just relax, browse some Uproxx Gift Guides, and do all your shopping at home. Just as the internet Gods have always intended.
We’ve collected a list of practical gifts that will still be at your house by Christmas Eve (some as early as tomorrow!). Here are all the best last-minute gifts you can grab for (relatively) cheap.
Whiskey Rocks, $15.97 on Amazon
For fans of drinking whiskey (or any alcohol) straight.
Alcohol connoisseurs have differing opinions when it comes to letting ice water down their expensive booze. Some say that it’s important for flavor, while others crave the pure, unchanged taste of the liquor. If you’re shopping for someone in the latter camp, these granite whiskey rocks will keep your alcohol cool longer than the soapstone variety, and the rounded edges are designed to minimize clinks in the glass.
This set comes with nine cubes — plenty for sharing.
Odor Exterminator Candle, $11.99 on Amazon
Know someone who smokes weed? Well, they probably don’t want their entire house smelling like marijuana when they wanna roll one up. Other scented candles will only add to the aroma but these smoke odor exterminator candles suck up the smell of smoke and leave behind the refreshing fragrance of coconut and pineapple. Why coconut and pineapple? You can surely choose something else, but winter is here and taking a bong rip and imagining you’re on a tropical island somewhere definitely sounds like a fun time.
Bodum French Press, $15.39 on Amazon
Grab this for the person in your life who loves coffee but is above the whole drip method. A french press is a great way to get a fantastic tasting cup of coffee, and this single liter glass model by Bodum is solidly equipped to handle a ground free cup of delicious coffee. They can use it for tea too!
Pepper Grinder, $10.01 on Amazon
Freshly ground pepper is so much more fragrant and delicious, this particular model by Kitchen-Go features a sleek design and comes with ceramic blades and three different adjustable coarseness levels. Pick it up for the burgeoning chef in your life.
Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion (Or any book), $10.20 on Amazon
Sure digital books are more convenient these days, but they make crappy gifts. With an actual hard cover, the bookworm in your life can lend the gift out when they’re done reading or even write notes in the margins. You certainly don’t have to buy Slouching Towards Bethlehem, you can choose any book you think someone NEEDS to read. But if your loved one is a fan of the Life section of Uproxx (who wouldn’t be?) then this is a pretty safe bet. It’s a fucking classic.
“Heroes” by David Bowie on Vinyl (Or any other album), $19.99 on Amazon
Again, you don’t have to buy “Heroes” by David Bowie but it’s a classic. Amazon is full of both new and second-hand vinyl so you can find a lot of really great stuff for well under $20. Pick up some vinyl for the audiophile in your life, even if they aren’t a super huge Bowie fan, the iconic cover alone will add some serious cred to their collection.
Mafia the Party Game, $11.98 on Amazon
Grab this gift for the person in your life who is fond of hosting game nights. Sure, Mafia’s design looks like it’s aimed at kids, but make no mistake, this is a game of lying, deceit, and misleading your friends — the perfect game for adults! It’s cheap, travel-friendly, and a legal way to spend a night trying to get your frenemies whacked.
Fresh Fusions Fruit Infuser Water Bottle, $14.97
Some people don’t like water, and we get it, it’s boring. But we need it to live. So buy this for the person in your life that you’d like to live a little longer. Get them hydrated, they need it. Now they can throw berries, mint, or herbs inside to amp their H2O up. You load up this infuser from the bottom, which is appreciated, it means you’ll have fruit infused goodness until the very last drop.
URPOWER Oil Diffuser, $16.99 on Amazon
Buy this for the holistic healer in your life or the person who likes to set the vibe. Less fussy than a scented candle, this oil diffuser will fill a room with the pleasant stress-reducing scents of essential oils. This is a great winter gift because it helps to ward off dry skin, chapped lips, and sinuses.
Polaroid Film, $18.99
Buy this for the person in your life who has a polaroid and knows the value of a tangible photo. Don’t buy it for someone who doesn’t have a Polaroid camera obviously. We suppose it’ll make a good enough paperweight, but I mean you could just give them a rock. Rocks make good paperweights.
This film will work in all Polaroid cameras that take 600 film and comes in packs of eight.
Crystal Red Wine Decanter, $22.99 on Amazon
Decanters don’t just make people’s wine look all fancy, they’re also designed to increase red wine’s exposure to air — which helps to bring out the natural aroma and flavor of a good bottle. Your wine-obsessed loved one will know that and appreciate you for being so god damn thoughtful. Even though she STILL hasn’t offered you a glass. F*cking Brenda.
Cocktail Shaker Set, $25.87 on Amazon
Buy this for the person in your life who is just getting into mixing up their own cocktails. Being able to make your own cocktails is a handy craft, and every home bar needs a solid mixing set. This one by ShoppingHandicraft comes with a wooden stand, shaker, jigger, mixing spoon, strainer, bottle opener, ice tongs, and a quick cocktails recipe guide. This is the type of gift that will also benefit you down the line once your loved one develops some mixing skills and invites you over for drinks, you selfish, selfish gift giver.
Outland Firebowl Portable Fire Pit, $89.99 on Amazon
This outdoor propane gas fire pit for the traveler in your life who likes to experience extended stays out in the wilds. It’s compact and easy to travel with and is safe to use even during campfire bans.
Russel Hobbs Retro Toaster, $39.99 on Amazon
So retro it borders on annoying, but perfect for that person in your life who idealizes the “good old days.” The Retro Toaster comes equipped with a removable warming rack that makes it easy to warm buns and pastries, and features three functions that adjust the heat for different bread densities, as well as a setting for tackling frozen goods
eufy BoostIQ RoboVac, $199.99 on Amazon
Pfft, cleaning. So early 21st century. Why clean when you can have a robot do it, a robot that is controllable through your smartphone! Welcome to the future. These little robot helpers are great for maintaining household cleanliness making any abode look drop-in ready for the person who is always hosting.
SanDisk 64GB Micro SD Card, $9.99 on Amazon
Everyone everywhere needs file storage for something, all. The. F*cking. Time. Sure no one will see this gift coming, but they’ll greatly appreciate it, so it’s a win-win. At this price point, you could grab a handful and use them as office stocking stuffers if you’re into buying your coworkers presents (hint! hint!).
Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Gift Card, $50 Value for $40 on Amazon
The Coffee bean beats Starbucks hands down drink-to-drink when it comes to coffee chains. For just today, December 21st, grab a gift card for $50 for just $40 with this 20% discount. Buy it for the person in your life who accuses you of being thrifty, they’ll never see it coming.
Amazon Gift Card, $15-$2000
Okay so you’ve gotten to the end of this list and you STILL haven’t found something for that extra picky someone in your life. It’s time to take the L and just buy them a gift card. Amazon is a big place with a lot of stuff, make it your giftee’s job to wade through the madness. It’s not the best gift, but hey, it says “I respect you enough to let you make your own decisions,” and that’s priceless.
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