A List Of Everything That Kept 2017 From Being A Complete Garbage Fire

and 12.29.17 1 year ago 18 Comments

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

But goddamn, if you you spend too long on Twitter you get to thinking we’re living in the seventh circle of hell. Yes, watching capitalism crumble is scary. Sure, our ever-widening wealth disparity is soul crushing. True, the open rioting of Nazis with citronella torches is repulsive. As is discovering that sexual assault is rampant across media, government, movies, food… and probably every other industry on earth.

And then there’s the whole other issue. The one we’re trying to avoid talking about. The elephant in the room, Tweeting so that we can’t ignore him.

Where were we going with this?

Ah, yes! Here we go: Amid the ugliness, there is beauty in the world. Amid the pain, there’s joy. The sun rises and the sun also sets and the sea is never quite as full of horrible bullshit as we think. Even Twitter — the neverending feed of wretchedness that so often leads us to despair — has proven to be a very good thing, on the whole. After all, it’s Twitter that pushed forward the work of hard nosed journalists in the fake news era. Twitter that has opened a platform for voices that were once marginalized. Twitter that has sparked a million “who’s the wokest debates”, which, ultimately, deliver us to a better place, as a society.

Today, we’re going to celebrate the positivity in our jumbled up, complicated, flawed-but-potential-filled planet. We’re going to shout out the fun moments, the pathos, the hope, the progress. Tomorrow, we can dwell on the horrors; we can bomb our Tweets on the crumbling ruins of civilization.

Today, we’re all about what was good in 2017.

-Steve Bramucci, Life Editor

Cardi B stomped out the competition in her “bloody shoes.”

If Cardi B rapping about owning expensive shoes like Louboutin’s as a former stripper wasn’t dope enough on its own, her calling them “bloody shoes” was the icing on the lyrical cake. “Bardi,” as she sometimes calls herself, makes a lot of references to being a Blood, and often replaces the “c” in words with a “b,” as do many of her Blood buddies. When she talks about being “bute” in her Loubs, she’s letting us know that she is living her best life as a boss woman who “don’t gotta dance” any more, but she’s still the same “Gangsta Bitch” from volume one of her mixtape, who might stomp you out with those stiletto heels.

This was a serious come-up, declared in one single lyric: The American dream, distilled.

-Hope Carter

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