The Bunny Ranch Is Aiming To Have Sexbots Available By 2019

We have all accepted that sexbots are on their way, right? Based on the number of times people incorrectly assume I am going to fuck a robot, I have to believe it’s a society-wide foregone conclusion. However, it’s not necessarily a welcome one. A lot of people think it will do to human interaction what fast food did to the American diet. This is also a belief people hold about the readily available orgasms provided by prostitution. Without the need to interact with others in order to get our sexual needs met, we may all become shut-ins hellbent on our own shuddering climaxes. So, imagine the handwringing and beating of breasts that will erupt when people get word that Dennis Hof, the mogul behind the Moonlite Bunny Ranch and a half dozen other legal brothels, is set on sexbots working alongside his human sex workers.

“The next great innovations in our industry will not only be cultural but also technological,” Hof says in a press release. “Sex robots are here to stay, and the technology is further along than most people think. I want the Bunny Ranch to be a testbed for this cutting-edge sex tech — and if our clients like them, Bunny-Bots will be a part of the experience offered at my brothels going into the next decade.”

In the past, we have argued that sex with robots is certainly something people will pursue out of curiosity, but it won’t be the end of sexual relationships between human beings. Current robotic innovation is impressive, but the people making those leaps and bounds in utility aren’t dedicating their time to lubricating faux genitals and stiffening mechaboners. Nope, sexbot tech is behind the general robot evolution. And the last thing anyone wants exploring their soft, fleshy anatomy is a heavy, inaccurate piece of machinery.

But, Hof doesn’t see this as an obstacle: “The companies I’m in discussions with are constantly perfecting their sex robots to be the most physically satisfying sex partners on the market.”

But, what of the need for emotional intimacy?

“The ‘Girlfriend Experience,’ where a client and sex worker share conversation and intimacy in addition to great sex, is the most requested session at the Bunny Ranch,” Hof said. “A few tech companies are already experimenting with artificially intelligent and interactive sex robot applications, so upcoming generations of sex robots just might be able to connect with Bunny Ranch clients on this intimate level and satisfy the emotional needs of brothel customers.”

The women working for Hof have varied opinions. Some of the women feel their turf is being encroached upon, even hinting at possible strikes should sexbots be placed in the brothels. “I’m not thrilled about the prospect of sharing the stage with an appliance,” said Tiara Tae, a popular employee of the Bunny Ranch. “It’s challenging enough competing with dozens of other working girls, now I have to compete with the Terminator too?”

Way harsh, Tai. But, there are just as many girls who are excited about the applications these mechanical lovers can have for certain clients. “We work with a lot of adult virgins with extreme levels of shyness and very limited sexual experience,” said Alice Little, the top earner of Hof’s pool of over 500 women. “Many of these virgins are very nervous when they’re with a woman for the first time, and could benefit from having a transitional sexbot to ease them into intercourse with a human woman.”

“We’re still in the early stages of estimating the potential financial impact of robo-prostitution,” Hof said. “But if the future unfolds as we expect, sex robots may do for the Bunny Ranch what the iPhone did for Apple.”

Maybe so, but will they be able to dance like this?